Hello,
starting with nginx 1.11.11 you can use worker_shutdown_timeout
to limit the amount of time workers stall the shutdown.
However, you will still have increased memory usage.
You will always have increased memory usage while soft reloading.
If you cannot accept that, then you have to stop soft reloading and
not use any graceful procedures (but TERM or INT vs the master
process) instead:
http://nginx.org/en/docs/control.html
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