Thats may be a dump question: but why do you use different host names
in the first place? Is it a real business requirement to have a host
name per domain? Simply using a single host name for all domains would
solve all you issues here.

If this really is a business requirement for you (maybe the solution
shouldn't look "shared"), then their should be the money to buy
dedicated IP addresses.

I wouldn't rely on SNI anyway, because you never know if your clients
are all SNI capable; this is slowly improving for HTTPS but SMTP/IMAP
is another story (see: nginx).



Regards,
Lukas
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